I'll probably regret this, but keeping it in could be dangerous...

 Once upon a time there was a girl who loved music more than anything else in the world. She spent her days & nights writing songs and listening to every record she could get her hands on. She loved it so much that she thought she'd never love an actual person the same way. She was wrong.

4 years ago, one fateful August evening, she met a boy that changed everything she thought she knew about herself. On the surface, they couldn't be more different. He was 13 years her senior, a conservative businessman who liked luxury cars and big, showy houses. She was a free-spirited hippie-type who wore flowing summer dresses all year round & lived in a cozy little house, her piano the most expensive thing she owned. Despite their outward differences, they believed strongly and similarly in the things that mattered most - love & family. The night they met they talked about getting married, how many kids they'd have, and what their futures looked like together. She knew her life would never be the same.

From that day forward, they were together – as if they'd known each other forever. The girl whose only dream was playing music now seemed silly without having the boy there to share it with her. Of course the girl had other relationships prior to meeting him. She'd even been married & divorced. But this particular boy, he was unlike anyone she’d ever met. He was her partner and friend and confidant. She trusted him with her deepest secrets and was not afraid to be her true self around him.

Their time together was brief, and the details of their break up don’t matter anymore. It ended as quickly and intensely as it began, and the girl never stopped questioning her decision to leave him. After they parted ways, there were no more smiles, laughs, no more music. Her heart felt like lead, and everywhere she went – the market, gas station, park, everywhere, everything - conjured up his memory and instantly dropped that heavy heart straight down to her stomach.

She never told anyone about the devastation she was feeling and when she moved to a land called Nashville, she simply said it was to focus on her music. That of course was true but equally honest was that living in the same city as the boy was driving her insane.

Well, time started to heal the scars and the pair eventually started keeping in touch. She’d visit him when she went to Indiana, he came down south to see her. They texted and talked now and again, and when she really needed advice from someone who really knew her, she’d call him first.

As usual, on a recent holiday to visit her family, she contacted him to catch up. He invited her by text to Thanksgiving dinner at his house so that she could meet his ‘new bride’.

The last time they talked 2 months prior, the boy’s last words were ‘love you’….and there was no mention of a fiancé/bride. The girl politely declined dinner & offered the obligatory congrats. 

She never told her family that she was upset and she saved her tears for the pillow & shower. She tried going to her old friend music for comfort, but this was more than even a melody could soothe. She didn’t know enough chords to express the complexities of what she was feeling. Was she to feel happiness that he’d found love? Was she to feel anger that he didn’t care enough to tell her beforehand? Did she still love him & wish SHE’D been the ‘new bride’?

But as stories do, new characters and plots are introduced to change the course of the hero or heroine’s path. The thing is, the girl was but a page for the boy. The boy was a defining chapter for the girl. Just as he taught her what love meant to her, with a casual text he taught her what real heartbreak meant. The ice cream and red wine following a break up was familiar territory. But this was more than a broken heart. This was a death of sorts. The boy is now someone’s husband. No more catch-up calls or texts, no more romantic visits as if the pair never stopped being a pair, no more I love you’s, no more childish fantasies that one’s first love is their last love.

And so, the girl will grieve the loss of the boy, but hope that he and his new bride live happily ever after. The girl’s ever after will be happy, too. For she’s discovered the freedom & peace of accepting The End.

4 comments

  • Mandy
    Mandy
    Oh Tishy. This is really beautiful. I get wht you mean though. I know you and I know you dont love him like that, but it's still a shocker. On a text though? wow Call me later

    Oh Tishy. This is really beautiful. I get wht you mean though. I know you and I know you dont love him like that, but it's still a shocker. On a text though? wow Call me later

  • Deborah
    Deborah
    This made me cry. That last sentence is brilliant, Tish.

    This made me cry. That last sentence is brilliant, Tish.

  • Jen Bordes
    Jen Bordes
    Hey Tish, I have been there once before. It is not easy, put the passion back into your music. Time does heal no matter how cliche. Just remember he was never your person, if he was it would not be today where it is. He was there for a reason but not that reason. Hugs

    Hey Tish, I have been there once before. It is not easy, put the passion back into your music. Time does heal no matter how cliche. Just remember he was never your person, if he was it would not be today where it is. He was there for a reason but not that reason. Hugs

  • Matt
    Matt
    Jen is right. Maybe it happened like that FOR your music. ??

    Jen is right. Maybe it happened like that FOR your music. ??

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