Life After Divorce.

Here's the deal. I'm young - in age and in spirit. I feel like I've lived a ton of lives, but really - in the grand scheme of things... I'm pretty wet behind the ears. So when people find out that I'm a Mom and divorced - they freak. I get the quasi-sympathetic smiles and the obligatory 'you're so pretty - you'll be fine'; as if I ever thought I wasn't or wouldn't be. But I play along because it's just easier.
The thing is though, divorcing my former louse...er...I meant spouse is honestly the best, smartest, most liberating thing I've ever done. (The stupidest was marrying him in the first place.) And that's not meant as a shot against him. It's a shot against me. I knew better! I grew up believing that I was wonderful, and being with someone who didn't treat me like it made that sentiment untrue.
I happened to marry someone who wasn't able to treat me well because he had no clue to treat himself well. He was primed to be a robotic version of a really outdated and lowbrow TV sitcom. (Only not at all funny.)
A year after the divorce, I look in the mirror and see my real self. All of the dreams and plans and hopes I have for my life are just as real as when I was a kid. And the way that I conduct myself and treat other people is just as I did then. I'm guided by what the greater good says is good - not by what some misguided man says is.
I just wrote a song about all of it, and I guess it got me really thinking.
And I'm not anti-marriage. (I've met plenty o' hotties since d-day whose names I would happily take!) I guess what I'm saying is that I'm pro-me...and I will teach my children and their children to also be. Julia Roberts movies, greedy wedding planners, and snobby in-laws have ruined a once-real institution to prove how closely they can follow the status quo!
I don't think you can be happy in a marriage unless you are completely, totally happy by yourself. It's a cliche, but maybe the truest. I don't think I've ever been happier in my life, and while it's a shame it took all of that to get here - I'm grateful.
Who knew happily ever after was really that - after. :)

love,
me

11 comments

  • lauryn
    lauryn
    girl you broke it all the way down!

    girl you broke it all the way down!

  • Steve
    Steve
    I totally understad everything youre saying and I'm proud of you. I cant imagine you being anything but the happy cheery girl I met two years ago. I'm sorry you had to go through that, but youre obviously better for it. Go Tish!:love:

    I totally understad everything youre saying and I'm proud of you. I cant imagine you being anything but the happy cheery girl I met two years ago. I'm sorry you had to go through that, but youre obviously better for it. Go Tish!love

  • I KNOW!!
    I KNOW!!
    I DON'T KNOW OR WANT TO KNOW THAT MAN, BUT I KNOW YOU! AND YOU DESERVE NOTHING BUT THE BEST. YOU ARE TOO SWEET AND NICE A PERSON TO SETTLE FOR ANYTHING BUT THE BEST. AND I KNOW I'M PULLING A KANYE, BUT THIS POST SET ME OFF! YOU'RE THE ISH, TLYNDSEY AND I'M HAPPY YOU KNOW IT!!

    I DON'T KNOW OR WANT TO KNOW THAT MAN, BUT I KNOW YOU! AND YOU DESERVE NOTHING BUT THE BEST. YOU ARE TOO SWEET AND NICE A PERSON TO SETTLE FOR ANYTHING BUT THE BEST. AND I KNOW I'M PULLING A KANYE, BUT THIS POST SET ME OFF!
    YOU'RE THE ISH, TLYNDSEY AND I'M HAPPY YOU KNOW IT!!

  • Casi
    Casi
    Go Tish! I wish everyone could see that it's good and not selfish to take the time for you instead of jumping into relationship after relationship! Rock on Sweetheart! :) xoxo Casi :love:

    Go Tish! I wish everyone could see that it's good and not selfish to take the time for you instead of jumping into relationship after relationship! Rock on Sweetheart! smile

    xoxo
    Casi love

  • Maria
    Maria
    I feel like I know u from ur music and this is why i love u. u were meant for greatness and damn any man who tries to bring that down. Keep doing ur best because we love you Tish. love from columbia! :love::agree:

    I feel like I know u from ur music and this is why i love u. u were meant for greatness and damn any man who tries to bring that down. Keep doing ur best because we love you Tish.

    love from columbia! loveagree

  • renee
    renee
    Dear Tish This is such a good post. I am divorced to and I love when you said that ppl say your so pretty youll be fine. Who said divorce makes you ugly and depressed? Maybe for some ppl it's a good thing! I love that you said that. And you are so right. After I got divorced I felt FREE. And its sad 4 my daughter but I believe she is happier because her mom is so much happier then before. I LOVE this blog. Thank you.

    Dear Tish
    This is such a good post. I am divorced to and I love when you said that ppl say your so pretty youll be fine. Who said divorce makes you ugly and depressed? Maybe for some ppl it's a good thing! I love that you said that.
    And you are so right. After I got divorced I felt FREE. And its sad 4 my daughter but I believe she is happier because her mom is so much happier then before. I LOVE this blog.

    Thank you.

  • sarah
    sarah
    :laugh::laugh::laugh::agree::agree::agree: A progressive independent BEAUTIFUL woman was never going to mesh with some back alley closet KKK inlaws and a brain washed husband. LOL. ANd yes they are all on blast, as you say! I am so proud of you and the mother you are. JM is so lucky to have you and it will take his whole life to know it but you are doing it! You have a great family and the way that everyone loves everyONE of you makes that SO CLEAR. I am happy that I met you all and I cant wait to be there at your REAL wedding. I LOVE YOU CHICA:love:

    laughlaughlaughagreeagreeagree
    A progressive independent BEAUTIFUL woman was never going to mesh with some back alley closet KKK inlaws and a brain washed husband. LOL. ANd yes they are all on blast, as you say! I am so proud of you and the mother you are. JM is so lucky to have you and it will take his whole life to know it but you are doing it! You have a great family and the way that everyone loves everyONE of you makes that SO CLEAR. I am happy that I met you all and I cant wait to be there at your REAL wedding.
    I LOVE YOU CHICAlove

  • Jessica
    Jessica
    Girl. You GO. I don't know you and I'm not trying to get in your business but dang girl! YOU GO. I am feeling this! :bawling:

    Girl. You GO. I don't know you and I'm not trying to get in your business but dang girl! YOU GO. I am feeling this! bawling

  • Chris
    Chris
    Well shit! Okay then Miss Lindsey!

    Well shit! Okay then Miss Lindsey!

  • Alisa
    Alisa
    Good 4 you! Great blogpost. :agree:

    Good 4 you! Great blogpost. agree

  • Ryan
    Ryan
    Indy misses you. And I miss you. This is why. This is probably the most honest thing I've read in a long time.:love:

    Indy misses you. And I miss you. This is why. This is probably the most honest thing I've read in a long time.love

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