Moon River and the meanest reds

I totally had the mean reds last night. No, not what you're thinking. Gross! No, the mean reds are when you're super anxious and a little crazy, not just the blues, and pretty close to a straight jacket. In Breakfast at Tiffany's, (my favorite book) Holly Golightly says it's horrible - it's when you're afraid, but don't know what you're afraid of. Normally when I get that way, I politely excuse myself from society, wallow in my feel-sorry-for-myself-ness, throw stuff around, write really mean songs (that no one will ever hear), and then laugh at myself for being so dramatic. (Oh, and hope my neighbors didn't hear me crying like a psychotic baby.) I find it's best that I stay away from people during an episode because there's no telling what's going to come out of my mouth (or fists.) Well, I couldn't do that last night because I had a party to go to, and had to be around people. It sucks because I'm so smiley and happy all the time that people really freak out when they see me upset. My BIG sister says that no one takes me seriously when I'm mad because I'm still smiling! I can't help it! I hate seeing people cry or sad - I get all weird and uncomfortable - so I don't wanna creep anyone else out with my own ickyness! Anyway, I've calmed down a little today, so now it's just the blues. It got me to thinking though, I was feeling pretty miserable yesterday - anxious and sad and a little nutzo. But, as bad as I felt (and still sorta feel) I'm really grateful for it. I got the biggest hug from the cutest little three old this morning, and if I hadn't been feeling so terrible, I may not have appreciated it as much. And then I checked my email a little bit ago, and I got the sweetest message from a 'fan'. (That sounds weird to say.) Anyway, it made me so happy that my music made someone else so happy. Maybe I wouldn't have 'gotten it' had I not been feeling so knocked down. So I guess where I'm going with all of this is; you never know what people are going through or how they're feeling inside (despite how rude they're being OR the stupid smiles they have on their faces!) Maybe we could change someones day just by giving an extra hug, sending a quick email, or making a nice phone call - maybe something that means little to us, means everything to someone else. And maybe we have to go through bad stuff to really enjoy and appreciate what's good. Or maybe, I'm sleep-deprived again and the free-loving hippy in me is coming out full force. Ugh! I'm off to hug a tree. You enjoy this clip from Breakfast at Tiffany's!

Love/Peace.
t

6 comments

  • wtf!
    wtf!
    ur so sweet. i love this post. whatevers going on, you know u got fans that luv ur fine ass. and it should not be wierd to say fans! luv you girl:love:

    ur so sweet. i love this post. whatevers going on, you know u got fans that luv ur fine ass. and it should not be wierd to say fans! luv you girllove

  • Marc
    Marc
    I never saw that movie. (Or read the book) I'll have to check it out. You are still funny and cute even when your sad so that should makd you happy! lol your the best girl!

    I never saw that movie. (Or read the book) I'll have to check it out. You are still funny and cute even when your sad so that should makd you happy! lol your the best girl!

  • Marc
    Marc
    You should cover that song. I can hear you singing that.you'd make it sexy though. LOL

    You should cover that song. I can hear you singing that.you'd make it sexy though. LOL

  • heardthat
    heardthat
    this post almost made me cry. you're really something special. wow. :bawling::love:

    this post almost made me cry. you're really something special. wow. bawlinglove

  • ME!
    ME!
    That is my favorite movie. I never read the book. You remind me of Holly. (That's a compliment)

    That is my favorite movie. I never read the book. You remind me of Holly. (That's a compliment)

  • ME! (again!)
    ME! (again!)
    ...And You are right about changing someone's day. What a sweet post. ~Beck

    ...And You are right about changing someone's day. What a sweet post.

    ~Beck

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